Denigrated

I was denigrated. Then again, I let it befall upon me. Then again, I knew this was best. There I sat all miserable. Then again, I knew I was despicable. I cast all blame upon me. 

Regardless of how hard blame was cast upon others, I kept blaming myself. 

It worked. 

Now all blame is weighing me down. Down low. Almost to the ground. 

I can’t take it any longer. Now I just feel like a monger. Dealing out comfort in return for pain. I am agonized in the membrane. 

All this seclusion makes one big delusion. My delusion is; that if everyone else is at ease, so will I. Truth is, I’m clawing at my insides. I feel so agonized by all this weight upon me. I can’t take it anymore. 

I want to cast blame upon thee. “IT WAS YOUR FAULT,” I’d like to say. Maybe then the pain’ll go away. That wouldn’t be righteous. No. It’d be downright erroneous. 

I committed the crime, now I’ll suffer for some time. It’s only fair that I heal what’s there. What’s there, is a nasty gash. Made by yours truly. “No one else,” I say, to keep the blame on me. 

I don’t care, this pain can stay. I take it as a punishment; for all of my mistaken intent. I didn’t want this end result. I didn’t want it at all. Too late, now I must take the fall. 

I don’t want anyone else blaming themselves. So I’ll keep all these thoughts inside. In my membrane, they’ll all reside. 

I refuse to blame anyone else. Goal accomplished, no one else feels like they did wrong. It’s all on me. Yes, I’ve been self-denigrated. It’s okay, I can take the pain so that everyone else remains sane. 

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